Ever since I can remember, I've experienced life through symbols and metaphors. It's just the way my world is filtered, the way the outer connects to the inner. I'm an introvert; I sculpt my inner landscape to echo the symbolic content of the outer, while at the same time the outer world draws on echoes of the inner. I hope you know what I mean - it's all rather fascinating and intricate~! Rather than living life at face value, I am drawn (perhaps a little obsessively) to its patterns and its poetry. My entire world is embraced in symbols, and this is why the metaphor is such a core part of this project.
The Cocoon . The Butterfly . The Labyrinth . The Mask . The Phantom
The Glass . The Light . The Dark . The Mirror . The Reflection
The Nesting Doll . The Alchemist . The Tapestry
- THE COCOON
My fascination with this symbol comes from its associations with growth, transformation, stasis and movement. I see my own existence as an infinite sequence of cocoons. I feel I'm never the same from one day to the next; each day I am new and emerging, my life a dance of movement and stasis. The cocoon is also, to me, an icon of self-creation (see THE ALCHEMIST).
- THE BUTTERFLY
- THE LABYRINTH
- THE MASK
- THE PHANTOM
- THE GLASS
- THE LIGHT
- THE DARK
- THE MIRROR
- THE REFLECTION
- THE NESTING DOLL
- THE ALCHEMIST
- THE TAPESTRY
The Butterfly represents the idealised self. The butterfly emerges from her cocoon in the final stage of transformation as a pure and perfect form, true to the nature life had dreamed for her and drawn her towards. Delicate and fragile, she is no longer a secret hidden away beneath layers of disguise and protection; she is a soul undressed.
The Labyrinth - aside from being a beautiful word both to spell and sound - is yet another symbol that represents to me the 1. complex nature of identity and 2. the maps of past, present and future. In the case of the former, I do not subscribe to the idea that people are simple things, nor do I believe that we are "all the same deep down". I think we exist on many levels and layers all at once, each one with their own puzzles. And even when we agree that, say, "Love" is good, "Love" is necessary, the images and associations running through our minds are unlikely to be quite the same. I think there are hidden mechanisms beyond experience and language that are far more complex.
Concerning the latter - past, present and future - perceptions of events change depending on a multitude of factors (emotion, mood, experience, ambition...), so past, present and future are much, more messy than the traditional representation of single points on a timeline. I like to connect these words with the image of a labyrinth in four dimensions (brain ache?).
The Mask is a persona - a projection - either consciously created or a subconscious illusion. I believe identity is not tangible and not definable, and that the mask is an essential component of being human. I think we all have to idealise ourselves to some extent and seek to present ourselves in a certain way. Some masks we adopt for survival; others for growth. I don't see the mask as necessarily negative unless it is used to harm others, or overvalued. I think that wearing masks - whether consciously or not - can sometimes help us to better understand ourselves.
The Phantom represents the discarded personae, disillusionment and self-fragmentation. Have you ever felt that, looking back at yourself in some past moment, that this 'you' is completely removed from the you that you are right now, a stranger in disguise? I've felt this dissociation for years; behind me (and ahead) lies a trail of ghosts, each one clothed in the conviction that they are real, they are complete, and they will last forever. There is a point when each becomes disillusioned and collapses.
The Glass symbolises the personal filter through which this life is uniquely perceived - our very own lens. In The Cocoon this perception lens doubles as a barrier between the self and the world, both isolating and insulating. It is associated with feelings of distance, dissociation and stubborn individuality.
I do not want to paint a dualistic world. The Light here does not represent 'goodness' or positivity, not does the dark respresent 'evil' or negativity. Light and Dark are merely two strands of one thread, acting in union. Both have a role to play. The Light is a symbol of stability, control (well, perhaps, the illusion of control), plain sight, creativity, actualisation, that which occurs in the conscious, the foregound.
The Dark represents a beautiful Chaos, the Womb of Creation, decay, mystery, uncertainty, growth, potential, that which occurs in the subconscious, acceptance, faith, the background. It's not an welcome or malicious darkness. Everything has an ebb and a flow which we must accept. Nothing is truly stable and we are in a state of constant transformation whether or not we are aware of it. I love the image of a spiritual womb where we're clothed in a new potential before being released into Light, into a brand new awareness. There's an intricate dialogue between the two in balance.
The Mirror is a symbol of the filter through which we perceive other souls. We don't often see each other objectively.
Reflection is connected with illusion, and scattered/false perceptions.
Much like the image of the phantom trail or the neverending sequence of cocoons, this symbol is connected to the undressed soul beneath infinite layers. For a long time I've mused that at my very core, beneath all the personae, the details and superficialities of being human and the layers of experience and perception, in the very centre of identity, there is nothing... at least nothing that can be given a name, a shape or a description. In that nothing there is something ethereal and inexpressible; an invisible butterfly, with dreams of everything. The word 'soul' has so much semantic baggage attached to it that I don't really find it useful as a symbol, but I'm very drawn to the image of a coil of energy/poential unwinding into infinity - that, bizarrely enough, is the closest to how I would envision myself, underneath everything. I'm sorry that I can't explain this better!
The Alchemist is the self-creator. I strongly believe that the practice of art is a process of internal alchemy, that it holds the key to parts of ourselves that were previously inaccessible. When I create art that is meaningful to me, I feel a growth and a change in myself, and so follows the question: Am I the artist or the art? Is it I who create this art, or the art which creates me? I prefer the idea that both happen simultaneously. The Alchemist represents a union of inner and outer worlds, through the creative process. The Alchemist resides somewhere in the intangible, simultaneously expressing and being expressed, transforming and being transformed in a paradoxidal creative rhythm.
Made up of myriad threads and colours, the Tapestry represents The Bigger Picture, of which we are able only to experience one stitch at a time. (Ever played the LucasArts game 'Loom' from the early 1990s? This symbolism is similar, although my Tapestry constitutes the fabric of all layers of existence, from the outermost to the innermost, where everything - past, present and future - is interconnected and every thought and action is a contribution to a much larger whole.)